disastrouslyredeemed

Hello! It’s your mama! I just want to say that I love you so much! You are an AMAZING, smart, talented, funny, unique, beautiful little girl – or young lady rather! I know that I am not always the best at encouraging that or showing you that it’s true! But believe me… it’s true! I promise!

I know that sometimes we don’t always get along very well! And sometimes I argue FAR TOO OFTEN with you! I say this, because honestly, I shouldn’t be arguing with you at all! You see, I am your mother! Not your girlfriend down the street, not your sister, and not some girl at school, but your mama!

I shouldn’t be arguing with you because there should be nothing to argue about! I haven’t been doing you any favors in life by allowing myself to fall into these fighting matches with you! You see – my job is not to be your friend, give you everything you want, or even to be your slave! My job is to love you enough to NOT do those things! My job is to raise you so that you will grow up to be a young woman that people want to be around, a young woman who is polite and respectful, a young woman who cares about other people more than herself, a young woman who takes responsibility for herself and her behaviors and attitudes!

And, you see – I have not been doing that! I have been teaching you all these years that it is okay to be disrespectful when you don’t get what you want! I have been teaching you that you can treat people poorly when you’re upset or angry! I’ve been teaching you that you don’t need to do anything for anyone but everyone should do everything for you! And I’ve been teaching you that if you are rude and you throw a big enough tantrum that you will get what you want! I have been teaching you this partly by example, and partly by allowing it.

I am SO incredibly sorry for all of these things that I have been teaching you! And I am sorry that in some areas I have failed you as a mother, as a mentor, as a teacher, and as a leader! I am sorry because if I continue to allow this behavior to go on, you will not grow to be the respectful young woman that I know you can be. You will not continue to grow to be the caring and compassionate and giving young woman that I know you are, but instead you will grow to be rude, selfish, self-centered, and demanding! That is not at all what I want for you, and although you may be too young to understand, and you may not even realize, that is not what you want for yourself either!

I know deep down you want to grow up to be the best woman you can be, and I have no doubt in my mind that you will be, you already are! I am amazed by you every day – your strength, your perseverance, your determination, your will, your compassion, your love, your patience, your intelligence, and so much more!

I am only saying this today because I absolutely love you more than life itself and I want the absolute best for you!!! It is very easy it is to get consumed with our feelings, our thoughts, our behaviors, along with all of the ‘things’ we think we want and need in life!

You see – all of these ‘things’ that you think you just have to have…

• The trendiest clothes
• The coolest shoes
• The newest iPhone
• The coolest new toy
• The most recent social media account

All of these things are just things! They do absolutely nothing for you, for who you are as a person, or for your future, they mean NOTHING!

Sure, you might feel cool for a while – but for how long? Until the new trendiest clothes come out, the next new iPhone, the coolest new shoes? I wish I could make you see at your young age that although all of these things might make you feel cool, even really good about yourself… it is fleeting! It doesn’t last! There is always going to be the next new ‘thing’ that we think we have to have!

I want you to know from the inside out that you’re cool enough, special enough, important enough, beautiful enough, and absolutely amazing, not because you have the coolest ‘stuff’ but because God says you are! Because God loves you, because He tells you you’re enough, because He tells you you’re beautiful, and because He promises to always be there for you (us) and He will never leave you (us)! And I want nothing more than for you to believe Him, with all of your heart, believe Him and desire to know Him more!

I know I haven’t always set the best example with this! And I really wish over the years I would have been able to do a better job at teaching you ALL about God’s love for you! I wish I understood it better myself!

But I DO know this! Nothing will fill that hole in your heart like knowing Jesus! No shoes, clothes, make-up, toys, cars, boys, friends, iPhones… NOTHING! God put that hole in your heart on purpose! It is a gift he gave us all! A gift we may not always understand, but a gift none the less! He put that hole in your heart because only He can fill it, and He WANTS to! Only he can make you feel whole! Only He can love you like you desire to be loved! Even more than me… and that’s A LOT… that’s even hard for me to understand!

This is what I wish I would have taught you sooner, more of, and set a better example of! When we realize we are loved so much, THAT is when we can truly be free of all of those other worries, fears, feelings of needing to be ‘cool’ or ‘enough’ or to simply ‘fit in’! Do you hear me? He sets us free from all of those worries, fears, and bad feelings!!! How awesome is that?

I hope and pray that someday you will understand and have a fire in your heart to know your Lord, the one who loves you more than you could possibly ever understand! The one who will never leave your side! The one who wants you to know Him and has a desire to have a relationship with you! Only then will you truly be satisfied! Only then will you understand that all of the ‘stuff’ of this world doesn’t matter! And only then will you begin to understand my love for you… if even just a little!

Love,

Your Mama!!!

Psalm 139:14 – I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well (NIV).

John 3:16 – For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life (NIV).

Deuteronomy 31:8 – The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you not forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged (NIV).

1 Peter 3:3-4 – Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight (NIV).

Psalm 144:12b – May our daughters be like graceful pillars, carved to beautify a palace (NLT).

1 John 3:1 – See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know Him (NIV).

Psalm 127:3 – Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from Him (NLT).

Ephesians 1:16-17 – I have not stopped thanking God for you. I pray for you constantly, asking God the glorious Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, to give you spiritual wisdom and insight so that you might grow in your knowledge of God (NLT).

Mom, I sit here and watch you always taking care of everyone. You have so much love to spread around. You cook for the armies which are our family. You welcome all of them into your home no matter how much room you don’t have. You are there at every special occasion no matter what it takes. You plan parties just to be sure everyone gets together every once in a while. You would do anything you could for your family; your children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, siblings, friends. You care about each and every one of us. You are the matriarch of this whole big bunch. You want more than anything to pass on your love of family TO your family. You have a legacy Mom! A legacy of family!

I have seen you lose so much Mom. I’ve watched you lose your parents, siblings, cousins, friends, and even a child. You have endured unimaginable pain, hurt, and suffering with grace. You hurt every now and then and you’re tired. Sometimes you don’t want to go on anymore. Sometimes you don’t know how to go on anymore. Sometimes pain and fear are just too much to bear. But you find a way to go on because you are needed and because you care, you are compassionate and kind-hearted, and because you’re strong. You have a legacy Mom! A legacy of strength!

I’ve seen you crushed Mom. I’ve seen the pain in your eyes. I’ve seen the hurt that having children has caused you. When they hurt, you hurt. When they suffer, you suffer. When they weep, you weep. You are their whipping post and you take it. You take it with a smile on your face, a tear in your eye, and a pain in your heart. But you are their safe place Mom. You are their home. You take the aching in your heart because you know someone has to. You put up with their selfishness and you never turn your back. You never turn away because you love. You love with everything you have in you. You want more than anything for them to find their way and be full of joy. When they love, you love. When they are happy, you are happy. When they celebrate, you celebrate. You have a legacy Mom! A legacy of motherhood.

I’ve seen you fight Mom. I’ve seen you fight for what you think is right. For your family. For your dreams. For your hopes. I’ve seen you fight to keep your marriage together. To keep your family together. I’ve even seen you fight to keep yourself together. You are strong and powerful. You have loved when it would have been easier not to. You have remained strong when you have wanted to be weak. You have kept going when it would have been easier to quit. You have forgiven when it would have been easier to hold a grudge. You have never given up! You have a legacy Mom! A legacy of perseverance!

I have seen the way you love Mom! The way you love everyone with all your heart. The way you pour your heart and soul into everything you do. You have a light inside. You have passion. You have fire. You love to love. I have seen you love those who have taken advantage of you. I have seen you love those who have hurt you. I have seen you love those that need you. I have seen you love those who don’t deserve you. I’ve seen you love those who love you. I’ve seen you love when it’s easy and I’ve seen you love when it’s hard. And most of all I’ve seen you love me! You have a legacy Mom! A legacy of love!

Remember these things Mom. You have touched so many people with your kindness, love, acceptance, compassion, your whole being. You have lived a life to be proud of. So be proud. You’ve carried out your responsibility as a woman, friend, wife, sister, and mother. So let someone else be responsible every once in a while. For the rest of your days live a life you love and love your life. Don’t be so concerned with what everyone else is doing or how they are living their lives, we will all learn and become wiser as we grow older and gain experience. Have faith that God has a plan, He is in control! It’s not your responsibility to take care of everyone else, they should be taking care of you. Live your life the way you want to! And just remember… you already have a legacy! You are my mom!

Jeremiah 29:11-14 – “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me in earnest, you will find me when you seek me. I will be found by you,” says the Lord…

Ephesians 6:1-3 – Children, obey your parents in the Lord, because this is right. Honor your father and mother which is the first commandment with a promise – that it may go well with you and that you may have a long life.

Isaiah 66:13 – As one whom his mother comforts, so I will comfort you.

Proverbs 31:2 – Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.

Exodus 21:12 – Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that they Lord your God is giving you.