“I want to be loved like that”, I’ve heard people say. Then the next time I watch a movie, I hear myself thinking the same thing! I think, “if someone else feels that way, and it makes perfect sense, that must be what I’m feeling too.” That feeling of sweet, romantic, happiness mixed with sadness, discontent, and like something is missing. Usually it’s after watching romantic movies like The Notebook, The Wedding Singer or Sweet Home Alabama. My mind always wants to say, “Me too! I want to be loved like that!” But in my heart I know I already am!
We, as women, watch these movies; romance dramas, romance comedies, romance anything and we tend to get a little down about our own love lives. We wonder why OUR men never act that way in real life. Why they don’t send us big beautiful bouquets of flowers at work all the time, and if they did wouldn’t we assume it’s because they’ve done something wrong? Or why don’t they come after us and plead for forgiveness when they know they’ve hurt our feelings or made us mad and instead just let us walk away or lock ourselves in our bedrooms for a while? Why don’t they pack gourmet picnic lunches and surprise us with an afternoon date on a sunshiny day in the middle of summer, all stretched out on a soft cotton blanket with a glass of cool white wine in our hand? And while they’re at it, they could sing us beautiful, quirky, goofy songs that they wrote themselves to describe their love for us? That would be great, wouldn’t it? And I don’t think it’s too much to ask! Do you?
Do you ever wonder those things? I sure do! And I’ve spent many years thinking that since my husband hasn’t done those things that his feelings for me must be severely lacking. I’ve thought that since he didn’t ask me to marry him with an exotic, grand, exciting proposal then he must have not really wanted to marry me (you see I was pregnant when I got married and there’s always been this fear in the back of my head that he married me because he felt like he had to, not because he wanted to)! I’ve always believed that since he never would listen to my plea for a new wedding ring (because mine is much too small, out of style, and just not what I want anymore) or whatever ‘other’ thing that I thought I wanted or needed over the years, that he certainly didn’t care about me! And, I have assumed that since he never really was one to whisper sweet nothings in my ear, tell me how amazing I am, and talk about his hopes, fears, and dreams with me (Every. Single. Day.) that he just simply didn’t love me! Sounds pretty selfish from this end, huh?
I’m not sure how I let these feelings over take me this way for so long or sometimes how I’ve even managed to remain married. I’d like to say that these feelings don’t still bother me all that much, but to be honest, it’s a DAILY struggle to keep my head above the cold, murky, wet dirt. You see, all of these thoughts that lead to horrible, disastrous feelings are LIES. Satan wants to trap us in our own minds. If he can tear us down, crush our spirit, ruin our relationships, and torture our soul… well, he has us right where he wants us. And he will use any means possible… even your favorite romantic chic flick!
The thing is, all of those romantic comedies AREN’T real. So we’re absolutely right to say, “my man just isn’t like that”, he’s probably NOT! And that’s ok! This is why we must guard our hearts and be wise. We can’t allow ourselves to get so caught up in what our ‘man don’t do’ and forget what our ‘man does do’! We may want more, but sometimes we may not get more! Sometimes we need to put aside our selfish desires in order to have a loving relationship, live in peace, and stay sane. And sometimes we need to look to the Lord to fill the gaps!
My husband will probably never sing a goofy, quirky love song to me (unless he’s had a few too many jack and cokes and we’re dancing at a wedding – then when he happens to start singing along to the music I’ll just pretend that he’s singing to me)! He will probably never be the talker that I wish he was. And when I try to bait him by telling him how thankful I am that he’s my husband, that he works hard to take care of his family, that he’s always supportive of me, that he always tries to do his best to help me out with everyday mundane things, and that he’s totally HOT… well, he’ll probably never turn around and say all of those same things back to me, like I wish he would. He’ll probably always just give me a sideways smile and a kiss.
But, you know what he will do? He will always be a loving dad who wants to be at every game, competition, birthday dinner, and any other special occasion of his children’s lives and mine. He will always be the strong, patient, level-headed parent when I can no longer deal with the demands of motherhood. He will always keep me grounded… shoot, if it wasn’t for him I would’ve floated away long ago in my hot air balloon full of illogical fantasies and ideas. He will always be a hard worker and provide for his family. He will always do his best to do laundry, dishes, and pick up around the house (even if the clean laundry sits in piles on the living-room floor for three days and becomes so covered in dog hair that it really should be re-washed)! He will always be respectful of me! And he will always care about what I have to say even if he never has a single word to offer… he’s still a great listener, he NEVER interrupts! He’ll always remember my birthday and our anniversary. He’ll always be my best friend. And hey, maybe every once in a while, at a wedding, he’ll even sing a romantic song in my ear. And that IS being ‘loved like that’!!!
Psalm 25:17 – Relieve the troubles of my heart and free me from my anguish (NIV).
2 Corinthians 11:14 – And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light (NIV).
2 Thessalonians 3:3 – But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen you and protect you from the evil one (NIV).
Ephesians 4:2-3 – Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace (NIV).
Philippians 4:8 – Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things (NIV).
Proverbs 31:10-11 – A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value (NIV).
disastrouslyredeemed 
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