disastrouslyredeemed

Do you ever find yourself in the presence of someone who seems to stress out about every little thing? Are you a person that tends to stress out about every little thing, or are you pretty easy going? I mean, everyone stresses sometimes and often for good reason. But I am talking about that person that just seems to be on edge for no logical reason, about everything! Or almost everything! Or maybe just a few things! And I’m sure at the time it seems very logical to them.

 I seem to be noticing this behavior in people that I am around a lot lately. I’m not sure why as I’m sure I’ve been subject to high anxiety, high stress people several times in my life. I’m sure I’ve probably BEEN that person on several occasions. When I watch people become so overwhelmed and stressed about things my heart aches for them. They do not appear to be stressed because they are going through anything bad, or having a hard time in life, or anything obvious like that, not to say that they aren’t because I really don’t know… they may be… and that is completely understandable. No, I am talking about people who seem to stress about every little thing!

There has been the person who was starting a new job and had so much anxiety about what was expected and how to do things. There was a basic overview of the information and I honestly think that they thought that if they didn’t absorb every little detail right now that they would never hear it again. No one can expect to learn everything the first time around. Sometimes you need to hear it several times, participate, experience, and observe things in order to really “get it”. So try to just relax, it’s ok if you don’t know everything… EVER!

Then there is the person who has made a decision in life that they thought was the right one, only to hear someone else state their opinion! Ouch! And of course there are going to be critics, people that will always do things differently than you, or think you are making a mistake. You cannot allow those people to create doubt in your own mind. Not to say that you can’t listen, and take into account what they have to say (IF you want to), because they may have some insight or information that you haven’t heard or thought of. But ultimately you have to make the right decisions for YOU, not anyone else. We need to have faith in the decisions we make and get out of the habit of allowing other people to determine the strength of that faith.

Although I have had anxiety in MANY other areas of my life and I’m sure (actually I KNOW) there are people who have wanted to shake me because of my way of thinking, I tend to think of myself as a fairly laid back person. Not to say I don’t have my own issues and situations that I needlessly stress about, because I sure do. I just wish there was something I could do help someone to relax without making them feel silly or like their feelings are wrong, but to help them to just take a breath. To remind them that everything will turn out ok.

We all have hard times. We all have things that affect us in ways that other people may not understand. And we all seem to be at ease about somethings that maybe someone else couldn’t handle very well. How do we get to a place where we can be at peace… about all things? Is that even possible?

I know this is something I am trying to learn and become more successful at, being at peace. I want to seek the Lord in this as I know He is where my peace comes from!

In John 16:33, Jesus states – “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (NIV)

Romans 15:13 – May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit (NIV).

Psalm 85:8 – I will listen to what God the Lord says, he promises peace to his people, his faithful servants – but let them not turn to folly (NIV).

Here are a few more verses to check out…

Matthew 6:25-34

Isaiah 26:3-4

Psalm 46:1-2

Do you ever find yourself wasting time? We all have a list a mile long of things to do. There are the things that we need to do and then there are the things we want to do. I often find myself consumed by the length of the list that I can’t even seem to cross off number one!!! Let alone, two, three, four, or more!

There are the things that I need to do to keep my household running smoothly. These things consist of laundry (mounds and mounds of laundry), grocery shopping, keeping the dog hair under control (which means I have to vacuum often), and basic housework. For some reason these are the things that I completely lack the motivation to do. The problem is that when I don’t do these things I get so overwhelmed as they pile up that I can’t concentrate to do the things that I WANT to do either!

So, instead of doing anything, I sit on my couch with my phone in my hand and play games, scroll through Facebook, search Pinterest, feel sorry for myself, and, well, you get the picture. I don’t know about you, but this me brings me down. And it’s a vicious cycle because the more down I get about the things I haven’t accomplished, the less I accomplish.

The things that I WANT to accomplish seem like a good idea! Spending time with God, working out, cooking healthy meals, crafting, reading a good book, writing, playing a game with my kids, or maybe even working in my yard or spring cleaning are all things on that perpetual to do list. I truly WANT to do these things but I get bogged down by all the other things staring me in the face day after day.

Why is it that the things that we know will make us feel good seem to be the hardest things to accomplish? I know that intentional, scheduled time reading my bible and praying really set me up for a better day and gives me much more emotional stability (which the Lord knows I need). Getting regular exercise and eating healthy makes me feel good, great really. Having a clean organized house also makes me feel good and honestly much less stressed at the end of each day. And spending quality time with my family benefits all of us. But still, I find myself passing these things up for a lazy day on the couch with the remote in one hand and my phone in the other!

I want to do my best to try to accomplish more of the important things and worry less about what level of crazy kitchen I’m on or how many coins I have accumulated on bejeweled blitz! I heard on the radio recently that instead of creating a to do list that fills an entire piece of lined paper that it may be more beneficial to create a priority list. This consists of the three most important things that you want to get done for the day, and only focus on those three things. If you get those accomplished and have time to spend on another project, then have at it. If not, at least you will have accomplished the exact things that you set out to accomplish. Sounds like a great plan to me! I think I’ll give it a try, will you too?

Read and reflect on what this bible verse may mean to you!

Galatians 6:4 – Be sure to do what you should, for then you will enjoy the personal satisfaction of having done your work, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else.

I am not a professional counselor or a doctor. I am not a theologian who knows my bible from front cover to back cover. I do not claim to ‘know it all’ or have all the answers, and in many people’s opinion I may be wrong. This blog has been a way for me to possibly help someone else who is going through a similar experience that I have already walked through. It is something that I have wanted to do for a long time and has been a means of healing for me too. It has helped me to dive deeper into my relationship with Jesus because I am seeking answers to these issues for myself too.

I will admit that I have absolutely no authority to speak out about anyone’s emotional state, their circumstances, or what they should or shouldn’t do in life. But what I do have is experience. Experience in many different areas in life in which I have struggled. I have had to dig myself out of many holes that I happened to be the one to dig myself into in the first place. I have failed as a mother more times than I can count and I have been a selfish, needy, insecure, angry wife twice as much as that.

I have been a woman who has had to learn to deal with my past in order to forge into my future. I have had to dig up old hurts, old wounds, old pain so that I may be healed from the baggage that has weighed me down. I have had to swallow my pride and admit my faults, my mistakes, and my sins to those closest to me. I have at times been consumed by shame, guilt, insecurity and I have had to ADMIT that I am weak.

So, please do not take anything I have written as an end all be all. I have learned in life that I need the Lord. I cannot imagine a life without God in it. To have someone who is always there with open ears, open arms, and love and comfort when it seems no one else is. To know I can find strength, peace, and hope in Him. That is what I hope to share and hope to encourage others to want to find. There is nothing more satisfying and amazing than a relationship with Jesus. God bless all!!!

Have you ever read a self-help book and gotten through the first three pages and began to feel worse about yourself than you did when you started? You know the one. The book that makes you sometimes feel as if you have never been “that good”, nor will you ever be. The book that makes you want to cry because you feel like a complete and utter failure but that you also can’t put down because you’re just waiting for that one admission or slip up from the author that their lives are not that perfect, and neither are they. Whether it be a book about marriage, motherhood, friendship, personal growth, it doesn’t really matter WHAT the book is about, but the fact that it all just seems a little too good to be true. I can’t be the ONLY woman who has ever had these thoughts can I?

Well, believe this, no one is that perfect. No woman has it all together all the time, even if she looks like it. No mother has the perfect children nor is there a perfect mother. There is no perfect wife who is always loving, respectful, thoughtful, and selfless. There is no perfect woman, friend, daughter, sister. We ALL have insecurities, issues, weaknesses, fears, and life disasters. But we also have God given strengths, and power, and beauty and there IS a perfect God who can turn our inadequacies into beautiful moments in our lives.

I am on a life mission to focus on my strengths instead of my weaknesses. I will admit though that my weaknesses are an important part of my life. If I didn’t have weaknesses I may not realize my need for a savior. If everything in life was perfect, I wouldn’t need the Lord in my life to give me comfort and hope. As much as I have been hurt, crushed, alone, scared, I know without those experiences I wouldn’t really be who I am now. I wouldn’t feel the need or have a desire to know Jesus. I wouldn’t be seeking him. And for that alone I am grateful for my weaknesses.

2 Corinthians 12: 9-10 states – But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me (NIV). We can only truly know God’s strength if we admit our own weaknesses and admit our need for Him. I will continue to try my hardest to focus on my strengths to become the woman God wants me to be but I will also cherish my weaknesses that have brought me closer to Him. So the next time you feel your weaknesses overwhelming you, remember along with those weaknesses there is God given strength.

There are a lot of places that we’d rather ‘fit in’ than not…..

• Our jeans
• A bikini
• Amongst our family and friends
• Our job
• With other women (probably at the top of the list for many of us)

I often find myself in situations where I really feel like I don’t ‘fit in’!!! It’s unfortunate because it’s definitely my own perception of the situation, not the reality. I’m not sure why I allow this to happen, but I am learning to stop the cycle before it gets out of control. Learning… not accomplished!!!

I usually find myself pretty comfortable, at first, in most situations. It’s only after I sit there for a while, observe other people around me, that my wheels start spinning… you see, me and thinking too much really don’t go together. When given the time to get lost in my thoughts, that usually leads to disaster.

I start looking around the room at the other women. I notice their trendy outfits, great hair, jewelry, long painted finger nails, designer bags, great make-up application… you know… all the stuff that might make a girl feel ‘less than’ if they don’t have all of those things themselves. Now, it’s not that I DON’T have some of those things, and it’s not that every other women has ALL of those things… but I surely do like to focus on those things that I don’t have. Why do we get so wrapped up in what other people have and forget our own blessings, value, worth, talents, goals, and dreams sometimes?

I bet that most of us have been in this situation at one time or another!!! Well, have you ever considered that maybe another woman in that room is looking at you and feeling the SAME thing? Yes… you!!! I know, I know… it seems hard to believe. I mean, if you’ve ever felt like I have at times, then you know what it feels like to feel horrible about yourself. You know what it feels like to compare yourself to other women and always come out at the bottom. You know what it feels like to want to crawl into a hole and hide from the world. And it seems like a cruel joke to think someone else might just not see what you see and instead see something beautiful.

Changing these patterns of thinking does not come easily. I know firsthand that it can seem impossible… I mean, you are who you are after all, you have your own two eyes, and when you look in the mirror you see what you see. But what if that vision is distorted? Distorted by years of believing lies. The lies that Satan uses to get you where he wants you. The lies you hear in those situations where you feel like you don’t ‘fit in’…

• I am so unstylish and frumpy
• My hair is too short, too long, too dark, too light
• I’m so klutzy
• I’m too fat, too thin, too tall, too short
• I’m so stupid
• I wonder what everyone is thinking when they look at me
• Oh why can’t I just stop thinking…

Oh, I’ve been there!!! I want to encourage you to think about the fact that if you are thinking these types of things, how many other women in the room are thinking similar things? Chances are you’re not the only one.

Can we readjust our habits? Can we train ourselves to stop BEFORE our thoughts run wild? I think so! I know so! Because I’m learning how and if I can do it, you can definitely do it!!! The first thing you can do to help yourself is to recognize those thoughts as lies. Ephesians 6:11 tells us to “put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes (NIV).” Jesus gives you the power to stand up against Satan. James 4:7 tells us to “submit therefore to God, resist the devil and he will flee from you (NIV).” You just need to have a little faith, turn to God for strength! Satan can never compete with Jesus.

Think about the positive things in your life… come on now… there has to be at least ONE (I think more, but you might need convincing)!!! I started by reminding myself of all of the people in my life that love me and that I love! I bet you there’s a few, and the joy you can find in relationships is always something to be happy about! Next I started thinking about my kids and how no matter what happens, their smiles lighten up my day. Trying to think of those few positive things as my mind wants to wander south really helps me to focus on reality.

Now the really tough stuff. You are beautiful! You are loved! You have strengths! And you have weaknesses! No one is perfect, no women has the perfect life, the perfect body, the perfect career, the perfect children, the perfect husband! It may seem like it, but remember looks can be deceiving! Train your mind to focus on the positive and your own unique beauty! If you truly can’t come up with anything positive about yourself (I’ve been there too) ask one of those loving, trusting friends or family members what they see in you! Believe them! They’re telling you the truth! You may just be a little surprised at what they have to say!

This is what the Lord has to say to you and about you…

Isaiah 41:10 – So do not fear, for I am with you; I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand (NIV)

Jeremiah 1:5 – “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” (NIV)